Ha! Scared you, didn't I? I know, I know, Unschooling has gotten quite the poor treatment from the media lately, and any of you who have seen said treatments are probably thinking "Oh Lord, what is Brownie trying to do to those kids NOW?" But I'm convinced, y'all. I'm all in.
First, what IS Radical Unschooling? Well, basically, it's letting my children spend their days however (within the boundaries of safety and reality) they want to, trusting that they will learn what they need to learn in order to get by and even succeed in the world. It's me backing off on controlling the details and instead worrying only about controlling the environment so that it can be safe and stimulating. It's living our home life by the principles we find most important rather than a list of rules that can be challenged and broken by kids as well as adults. Speaking of which, I could use some help on the basic principles. Try as I might, the only one I ever come up with is "Be considerate of others"; it seems to cover a multitude of conflicts we usually have (not cleaning up dishes/wrappers, sibling arguments, yelling at a child to come do it NOW without any regard for the activity in which they were engaged, etc.) without being too wordy or sounding too hard.
Now, I must admit to a little bit of subterfuge. I was reading Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling right as the last "school year" was ending, so I decided to test the ideas by implementing them as temporary, Summertime rules. We told Tex and Noodle that they no longer had to clean up a room to play videogames, there were no restrictions on their tv time, and over the course of a few weeks we loosened up on meal times and food suggestions. We did all this with the idea that, if it didn't work, we could always go back to living by the rules when the "school year" started up again in August. But I don't think we're going to. The kids have responded so well, and our house is so much happier, I think that, as Alice Cooper said, "School's out forever". :-)
But relax, that doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. In fact on the parents' part this is going to mean a lot of very conscious choices. If we're not going to dictate our children's food choices then we'd better only have food in the house we're okay with them choosing, possibly over and over again. If we're going to let them make their own learning choices then we can't guilt or shame them for not being interested in reading, writing, or science, any more than we'd do if they weren't interested in art, sports, or musical theory. Basically, if we're going to create an environment where they get to make their own choices, then we need to do what we can to make sure the limited choices they have are safe, largely healthy, and supported. Soon enough they'll be out in The World where there are millions of choices, a great many of them unsafe, unhealthy, and insupportable. I want them to have some practice before they get there.
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I've heard about this unschooling thing. Our oldest is starting school in the fall (yikes!), so obviously, anxieties and option considerations are at their all-time highs.
ReplyDeleteAt this point, we're settled on sending both our boys to public school, but we have doubts about that... regularly. :( The unschooling thing is intriguing, but certainly requires a lot of "unseen control" (option limitations) combined with trust in your kids. It actually seems like MORE work than normal school.
Goodluck BG!
I think it's just a completely different kind of work, ya know? I mean, if my kids went to school during the day I would have to work extra hard to make sure we connected with them well afterward in order to make sure that our family was still where they looked for comfort and belonging. Personally, knowing my oldest and the challenges he has, after a whole day of "holding it in" at school our family time in the evenings would probably be miserable and exhausting as we caught all the anxiety he'd had to hide to get by in such a high-pressure environment. I don't think that would be good for anyone involved. So home schooling was definitely the right choice for him. But beyond that, the kid has never been one to let someone "teach at him", so if I tried to implement a curriculum and make him follow it we'd have just as many fights about that. And the fact is that, as I've stepped back and trusted and watched him, Tex learns just fine on his own. He picks up things as he needs them, so as long as *I* take the responsibility of making sure he runs into something new every so often, he's always going to be learning. Same with Noodle, even though he's younger (5.5), he's always finding new things to explore and learn. He left preschool at 3.5 only knowing his letters, and now he's taught himself to read a number of simple words. Without pressure, gold stars, shame or hours of table work.
ReplyDeleteOne other really neat thing, a side-effect of Unschooling that I never realized was there, is that *I* have more freedom, too! Yes, I have to be available to my children to help facilitate their learning, that's my main job during the days, but I also have time to pursue my own interests and it's a good example for the kids as well. For instance a couple of weeks ago I mapped out a 9 ft long timeline on our living room wall, because *I* wanted to. I'm reading my kids' home school history books (The Story of the World I-IV, really good stuff) to find events to add to the timeline. I could have made the kids get involved, but since I was the one interested I decided I should just do it myself. And Tex is already suggesting things to add, and talking about making his own for the time of the dinosaurs, with pics of the dinos and where they lived. I didn't have to force him, he liked the idea and came up with his own variation, and it would be a very rich learning experience for him, encompassing history, math (in mapping the time line), reading, and writing practice. And all because I followed my own interests and they got to watch.
Ah, the wonderful journey of radical unschooling! We started when DS was 1 and he's almost 5 now. Watching and supporting his growth and learning has been phenomenally awesome! :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your central principal; especially since I've had the same problem with coming up with more than just a couple. ;) Our main ones are: "be respectful of others" and "avoid hurting yourself, others or their possessions". Even those two overlap quite a bit, and, as you pointed out, such principles can be applied to nearly any situation!! :-D
If you're on FB, I'd love to connect with you there. My profile link is below... :)
Whoops! Forgot the link is "in" my name, which is above. :)
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