This entry is going to revolve around some struggles that Tex has had for most of his life, which are a large part of the reason why we chose homeschooling for him in the first place. Along with a diagnosis of mild Sensory Perception Disorder which makes certain activities and concepts more challenging for Tex, he also has a certain, shall we say, lack of social graces which can make interacting with others a little awkward and confusing. Tex is not at his ease when dealing with new social situations, he struggles with wanting to be funny and "cool" and it just not coming naturally to him, and he is often unsure of what people expect from him and how to convey his own very rigid expectations to others. We have a lot of fits and arguments at home due to these issues, and it is exhausting for the whole family. Not that Tex isn't a fabulous and wonderful child, he IS, he just also happens to be very emotionally challenging. I've gone back and forth lately over whether he actually needs to see some kind of therapist to help him with his anxiety and frustration, but eventually (with the help of the less-inclined-to-tinker Daddy-O) decided that what he needs is time and closer guidance. Which is all well and good considering that intra-and interpersonal relationships are kind of my bag (degree in Social Work), but still, it's different when it's my own child I'm trying to walk through these delicate situations, which usually involve (you guessed it) ME! And I challenge any therapist out there to be calm and constructive when their client is whacking them with a lightsaber.
After a particularly hurtful battle last week I went to the bookstore seeking comfort and assistance. I browsed the Parenting section thinking "they haven't written the book yet for the kind of hell I'm in, knowing I have the skills to help my child and having no idea how to put them into practice", when voila! I came across The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene. "Explosive, yes, that fits," I thought, flipping through the book. I saw enough that first night to warrant bringing the book home, and it is just exactly what I needed. I've long felt that having children should be much more like learning to live with a roommate than it should be like training a pet, so Greene's Collaborative Problem Solving routine is exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for to help us find a mutually satisfying solution to the big issues we face in our home. No "I'm the parent and I pay the bills so we do it my way" because A) frankly, making that stick is more trouble than it's worth and B) it doesn't really teach my kids the kind of life lessons I'd want them to retain, anyway. I want my kids to believe that they CAN change their situation in life, in ways that are effective and considerate of others, and I realize that in order for them to have that belief they need to see it in motion and even practice it themselves. So I'm excited to have a new resource helping us help Tex as he navigates the social minefields coming his way.
I had a fun moment watching Tex play and show off his understanding of math concepts. The kids were playing restaurant and Tex asked me for my order, I gave it, and he was ringing up my total when I said "wait, wait, I have a coupon!" Without even batting an eye (because he knows his Mommy and her love of coupons) he said "okay, ma'am, your coupon is for 50% off, your total was 4 dollars, and 50% is half, so half of four is two. You owe me two dollars, ma'am." I mean, come ON!! I know it's basic, but the kid goes from percentages, to fractions, to division with perfect understanding of what those concepts are! And he's not even 8 years old!
Oh, one other thing we've been enjoying lately is that I'm reading Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief to the boys and Tex is now all interested in Greek mythology. He even told me the other day that he'd like to learn Greek so that he could read the myths, but was pretty stoked when I told him the libraries will have books of Greek/Roman mythology written just for kids his age, instead. He really enjoyed looking at the Greek section of a giant encyclopedia of mythology he found on our shelves, but it was more an index of characters and creatures than a collection of the stories. It will be nice to have my memory refreshed, since I keep confusing Ariadne with Arachne, and Perseus with Theseus, and can never remember which names are Greek and which are Roman! Plus I have a comic book of The Odyssey I'd love to whip out. ;-P
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We have finished the lightening thief. I read it all three kids. We really enjoyed it. The movie isn't bad, but it is definitely not like the book. We have enjoyed talking about all the cool things from the book that wasn't in the movie. My T is also interested in learning Greek now. We have been reading about other greek myths and what not.
ReplyDeleteTake care!
Let us know when you are heading to the library and getting those Greek myths books, since we might have them all right now.:) We have stopped our curriculum to explore Greek gods and mythology. And I might need to check out that book and let you counsel my kid (she won't bring a lightsaber;).
ReplyDeleteLOL, well, if the book doesn't work we'll just put her and Tex in a room and not let them come out until they've exploded themselves into exhaustion. It really is useful, he's definitely more aware of his hitting and stuff since we've been talking more openly and in a more organized fashion about it. Now when he hits you can tell he's "owning" it. ;-P
ReplyDeleteAnd we went to the library yesterday. But that would explain where all the books went... No, really, we were able to get a few really good ones at Madison's library so we're cool for now. :-)